Thursday, March 09, 2006

women who want it all

Yesterday Toronto Star ran an article about Canadian women. It presented statistical findings that more of us are on our own then ever before.

The article also quoted a modern “successful” woman about her status, and here’s what she had to say:

“For me, it's probably more of a comfort zone to be single," she said. Monday nights are for volleyball, Tuesday is Spanish class; she just finished looking after a dog in training for the Dog Guides of Canada. She has lots of time for family and friends. (my emphasis)
"I guess I enjoy being single, I enjoy meeting people and having a lot of friends. It's not like I need to be in a committed relationship."

Now, I must add that this is not a sentiment of a recent high-school graduate. This is a 32 year old specialist, who has just broke of with a boyfriend of 18 months. And supposedly she represents a growing number of modern women.

What happened to the women of our generation? I see too many around me who want it all, and are not really willing to give anything up. They have to have a great career, lots of time for hobbies, active social life, travel, etc. Their lives are so over structured and independent that any other human being, be it a husband or a child inevitably becomes a nuisance.

This “me first” sentiment is perplexing. Kids put their needs first, because they don’t know any better. As adults we are supposed to grow out of it and learn that we are not the only ones that matter. But now it seems that the age at which people get to that point is increasing at an exponential rate.

Commitment went from a simple fact of an adult’s life, to a plague to be avoided. Because apparently it restricts our freedom. Freedom of what? A string of meaningless encounters? A short-cut to STDs? Friends who are there for you at the bar, but are too busy with their own careers/hobbies/social life when you actually need them?

In case of the lady quoted above, I find it fascinating that she prides herself on having lots of time for family. As long as it’s others who create it, while she gets to enjoy the Spanish classes.


Anonymous BronzeTrinity said...

I don't know if that article is really fair. Yes, women are working on their careers and they want to be independent, but me have done that for years. No one ever questions a man who wants to be single, work on his career, and then settle down. Men barely have to worry about their biological clocks so they have plenty of time to wait. I think that women are just enjoying their independence and they want to provide for themselves instead of being at the mercy of their husbands. Furthermore, some men are really intimidated by women who can take care of themselves and who have raised their standards. In the past maybe a woman would take any guy with a steady job, but now we are more picky and we want someone with more success. I do hate being single but the idea of being dependent on a man to provide for me is just too scary. :)

2:50 AM  
Blogger vasilisa said...

Hi bronzetrinity,
thanks for dropping by.

I see your point on independence. I just think that maybe women are taking it too far? Maybe the answer should be co-dependence. As in if men and women need each other more, they are more likely to stick together and to grow a family. I think the point of a relationship is growing it together, and making each other successful, by providing mutual support. Whereas if we don’t need men for anything, and have such a busy social life that they wouldn’t even fit in, we would pretty much be setting ourselves up for aloneness.

And I would actually question a man who wants to be single and independent for too long…

3:09 AM  

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